


TAZ Drabbles and Oneshots

by FlishFlash121



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Cute, Fluffy, Friendship, Multi, Romance, adorable couples stuff, everyone loves each other here folks, happiness, post story and song
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 12:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15072836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlishFlash121/pseuds/FlishFlash121
Summary: Sometimes, I ask my friend to give me writing prompts. Some, if not most of those, are taz prompts! This is a collection of randomly themed stories, and I hope you enjoy them! Keep in mind, these will be relatively short.READ THE TAGS!!!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This first one is Magnus and Julia dancing together in the kitchen in the middle of the night!

It was late. Julia knew she should go to sleep, but she couldn’t quite find it. Instead, she was in the kitchen, sitting at the table and listening to music. She hummed softly as the radio played a song barely audible over the soft static. She didn’t mind it- she loved the song, so she wasn’t going to turn it off just because of a bunch of fuzzy noises. She hummed softly, and didn’t even notice her husband walk in.

“Jules?” She heard his raspy, sleep laced voice ask.

She turned to him and smiled softly. “Hey, Mags.” She stood up and pushed in her chair. “Why are you up?”

He gestured to the sink. “Water. What about you?” He rubbed his eyes and took down a glass from the cabinet beside the sink.

Julia shrugged as he filled the glass. “Sleep is hiding from me, I guess.” She laughed softly.

Magnus hummed as he downed half the glass in one drink. “Needed that.” He said as he softly smacked his lips. He put the glass down on the island in the kitchen, and his eyes eventually found the radio. “This is a good song.” He said with a smile.

Julia nodded as she leaned against the island. “Yeah. One of my favorites, actually.” She said, rapping her fingers to the beat.

Magnus began to hum along to the song. He held his hand out to Julia in a silent question; “Wanna dance?”

Julia looked down at his hand, then back up at him. She stood up and slid her hand into his, walking closer to him as he gently pulled her to him.

Magnus laced their fingers together and wrapped an arm around her waist as she settled an arm around his neck. They seated back and forth to the beat of the song, pressed against each other.

There was no place either of them would rather be.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is Angus helping Taako cook!

“Angus, I swear, if you cut a finger off, first thing I do is pass out.” Taako said with a sideways glance at the boy beside him.

“You already said that, sir.” Angus half retorted with a smile.

Taako let a small smile grace his features. “Remember, use your knuckles, not your fingertips. That’s a one way ticket to stitch town.” He grabbed his hand softly and curled his fingers into a lazy fist.

Angus nodded. “Thank you, sir!” He said, continuing to cut the carrot.

Taako hummed and put his hand inches above the surface of the pan heating up in front of him. “Okay, I think this is probably warm enough.” He pulled out a butter knife and cut a slab of butter from the dish in front of him, flinging it into the pan and moving it around.

“What are we making again, sir?” Angus asked, putting the knife down and turning to Taako.

“Well, first off, didn’t I tell you to cut the sirs? Just call me Taako, Ango,” He smiled and ruffled his hair before finishing with, “We’re making chicken fried rice.”

Angus smiled and nodded. “That sounds really good.”

“Hell yeah. And I’m sure it’ll be just a little better because you helped.” He said as he scooped up the now diced carrots and plopping them in the pan. “Now, cut up some onions, please. And don’t cut the root!”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako and Kravitz are trying to have a nice night in.

There was nothing like a night in with Taako. Kravitz always cherished every moment he got to spend with the love of his life…

Even when he spent most of the time yelling at the television.

“Are you fucking kidding me? There’s a minute left and you’re making a goddamn ganache. Get it together, Angeline!” He shouted at the drow woman in the screen.

“Tak, you know she can’t hear you.” Kravitz said with a laugh.

Taako glared at Kravitz and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” He nestled against his partner as time was called for the competitors. “If Angeline wins, I’m rioting.”

Kravitz laughed once more and planted a kiss on his boyfriends head. “You know I can’t let you do that.”

“Just try and be in my way.” Taako mumbled, crossing his arms and laying his head on Kravitz’s arm.

The continued to watch the show. Fantasy Ted Allen, a dragonborn man with green and blue scales, ended up chopping the orcish man who was cooking against Angeline, which made her the winner. “Taako? You alright?” Kravitz asked as his boyfriend went slack against him.

“I can’t believe.” Taako slowly sat up and grabbed handfuls of his hair. “I can’t believe she won it. Miss Lumpy Ganache won over Mr Perfect Whipper Cream Spiral!” He jumped up like a frog that was just pushed.

Kravitz groaned softly as Taakos warmth left him. “It’ll be alright, dearest. She’s donating the money to help the homeless, so it’s not all bad.”

Taako grumbled and laid back down with Kravitz. “I’m done. I can’t watch this anymore. Can we like, watch The Office or something?”

“Of course.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup accidentally sets things on fire sometimes.

“So, babe,” Lup started as she began to clean up the table, “are you wanting to do anything today?”

Barry hummed in thought as he filled up a glass with water. “Not really. Anything you had in mind?”

Lup crumpled up some napkins and threw them in the trash near the table. “I was thinking we could go swimming! It’s been hot lately, and I think it’ll be a nice way of cooling down.”

Barry poured the water on the table to quench the small fire that had surfaced. “That sounds like fun.” He said, then added, “It seems like you need it.” He poured the rest of the water on a fire that caught on a placemat.

“What do you mean?” Lup asked as she brought the dishes to the sink. “And why are you pouring water everywhere?”

“Do you…” Barry hurried to where she was and patted a fire out with a towel, “seriously not notice?”

“Notice what?” She asked with a laugh.

“All the goddamn fires?” He asked as he quenched a small flame on her shoulder.

Lup turns to him to see him in visible distress. “Is it happening again?” She asked with furrowed brows.

“You bet your ass. Let’s hurry and clean the kitchen so we can cool down.” He said, a small smile spreading across his cheeks.

Lup laughed softly and bumped him with her hip. She gasped when a fire started on her husband, and she hurriedly put it out. “Sounds like a plan.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merle is cleaning out his bedroom and throwing shit at oncoming people.

There was absolutely no way of getting to either of the bathrooms. And Magnus had to piss. Like, really badly. If he spent another five minutes in the lounge with everyone else, he would piss himself, and everyone would laugh.

“Guys? I gotta pee.” He said for the tenth time in the past minute.

“For Istus’s sake, Magnus, go to the bathroom.” Lup said from her place, splayed across Barry’s lap.

Magnus whimpered softly. “But he’s throwing things!” He pointed to the hallway with sad eyes.

“Getting hit with a four dollar toy isn’t the worst thing that’s happened to you.” Lucretia said, not looking up from her drawing.

“You don’t know that.” He grumbled.

Taako let out a half groan half yell combination and lifted his wand. “Hold still. You’re about to be invisible.” He said as he waved his wand and cast an invisibility spell on Magnus.

Magnus shot upright as he felt a wave pass through him. “Am I invisible?” He asked, looking down at his hands.

“Yeah. Can’t see you.” Barry gave him a small smile.

“Cool. Gonna go pee.” Magnus turned and made his way to the hallway, a light spring in his step. There was no way he would be seen.

He paused beside the Room. He took a deep breath and nodded before taking a step forward, expecting an leisurely walk.

He was sorely mistaken.

The second his torso was seen, he was bombarded with all sorts of junk, from solar toys that move in the sunlight to buttons. He screamed and ran as fast as he could away from the room and to the bathroom.

Merle, who was the attacker, burst out in big, boisterous laughter, as did everyone in the lounge. “What did you even cast on him, Taako?” Davenport asked between chuckles.

“I didn’t cast squat! Just made pretty sparkles.” He said with a laugh.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taako and Merle are working on something together. They decide to take a break. (IT’S NOT SMUT OKAY)

Working with Merle wasn’t as bad as Taako had expected it to be. They talked for a bit, did a little work, and decided to take a break. They were analyzing certain spells, spells that had both transmuting and healing properties.

“Wanna head to my room with me for a bit? It’s nice and cool in there- I have to keep it like that for my plants.” Merle said, letting one of the scrolls roll up.

Taako hummed as his glasses slowly slid off his face. “Sure thing, I guess.” He pulled the glasses off and folded them, putting them gingerly on the table before following Merle.

Though they’ve known each other for about twenty years now, Taako had never talked to  
Merle a lot. He seemed like an interesting enough guy. He liked plants, he was a worshiper of Pan, and he had a good heart. There wasn’t really anything else Taako knew about him.

When they got to his room, they were hit with a blast of cold air. “Guess the air unit is on, too.” Merle observed as he walked in. “That with all my fans keeps it nice in here.”

Taakos teeth chattered softly, the chill making him pull his red robe tighter about himself. “You call this nice?” He said as he rubbed his shoulders.

Merle shrugged and picked up a spray bottle from his desk. “Well, it’s my kind of nice.” He sprayed a couple of the plants on the ground. “Would you like to meet em?”

Taako raised an eyebrow and paused. “Meet who?” He asked in confusion.

“The plants. They all got names.” Merle looked at him with a smile.

The elf blinked a few times. He had heard Merle correctly, right? Plants? There we weirder things, he thought, then replied with, “Why not?”

Merle smiled happily and put the spray bottle back. “Well start with this guy! I named it Johnny.” The plant had thick, round leaves. Taako recognized it from the tenth cycle, the jungle plane. He hated that year.

Taako nodded in interest. He actually found himself… fascinated with Merle’s love for his plants. “Go on?” He said, his eyes bright.

Merle nodded and gestures to a long, thin tree at the other end of the room. “Susan. She’s one hell of a gal, lemme tell ya.” He said with a laugh.

“I bet she is.” Taako said after looking her over.

Merle raised an eyebrow. “Interested?” He asked playfully.

Taako glared at Merle and rolled his eyes. “I’m not a plant fucker, sorry.” He said, giving Merle a light kick in the knee.

The older dwarf laughed. “Alright, fair.” He moved on. “This,” he pointed at a plant hanging from the ceiling, “is Joshua.”

Taako nodded. “He’s cute.” It was a round bush with flowers dotted around the leaves, a couple branches reaching down.

“Int-“

“I swear, if you say interested one more time I’m blasting you off the ship.” Taako said with a glare, but not without a smile.

Merle laughed and shook his head lightly. “Alright, I’ll refrain.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of the Tres Horny Boys got injured during a mission. Lucretia is baffled. Killian is annoyed.

The mission had taken a turn for the worst. It wasn’t a relic mission, thank Istus, but it was a smaller one that the Director thought the Tres Horny Boys could take on.

She was mistaken. They were shuttled back to the moon base with Killian, who looked thoroughly annoyed.

Lucretia rushed to the scene. “What happened?” She asked, trying to keep most of her panic and worry under wraps. As of now, they were just employees.

Killian sighed as she looked back at the trio. “Merle fell and got stabbed in the leg, apparently.” She said, pushing a hand though her thick hair. It had grown longer since the last time Lucretia had seen her.

She sighed and nodded. “I’ll take them from here. Thank you, Killian.” She walked past the orc and made her way to where the three were.

Magnus was trying to stop the bleeding in Merle’s leg, and Taako was doing his best to stop laughing. “What happened?” Lucretia asked.

“Ah, Lucretia!” Merle said, a little too loud for her comfort. “You see, I made a bad acrobatics roll, and I slipped and fell. Hurt my leg real bad.” He gestured down to where Magnus was pressing a thick wad of bandages onto his leg.

Taako let out a sharp laugh. “Sorry, Sorry, it was just… the funniest shit I’ve seen in a while. Magnus, move.” Taako pushed the bigger man aside, much to his annoyance.

“Finally decided to do something about our bleeding friend, huh?” Magnus retorted.

Taako scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Shut your mouth.” He said as he untangled the bandages and wrapped them around Merle’s leg instead.

That’s when Lucretia noticed just how much blood was on the white cloth. “How can someone of your size bleed that much and still survive?” She asked, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Let me go get something to keep it from getting infected. I’ll be back.” She turned and briskly walked away.

Behind her, she could hear all three of them laughing. She rolled her eyes with a smile. Those three have always been easily entertained.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Backyard parties are fun... especially when you plot against your friends.

Merle let loose a few chuckles as he slowly filled water balloons with the backyard hose. Everyone else was in the front yard, but they were gonna get one hell of a surprise once he was finished. “Those guys are gonna get it.” He said to himself, his smile a mile wide.

Eventually, he had a bucket of water balloons. He picked one up and experimentally threw it at the wall, pumping a fist in the air as it burst. He picked up another one and the trusty sling shot (it was a dollar! How could he pass that up?) and made his way to the edge of the house where he wouldn’t be seen.

Closest to him was Magnus, but that’s not who he wanted to splash. Not yet, anyways. His eyes scanned his friends until they fell on Davenport, sitting in a low lawn chair beside Lup and Lucretia. He smiled and chuckled lowly as he readied the balloon. “Look out, Captain.” He said to himself as he loosed the balloon.

Everything would have gone smoothly if he was close enough. The balloon landed in the ground near Davenport, but didn’t burst. “The hell..?” He whispered in confusion. He had watched it burst against the wall, why didn’t it work?

Maybe he had to throw them, he thought. He made his way back to his bucket with a dejected look on his face. When he got to his previous spot, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

His bucket full of water balloons was just gone.

He threw the slingshot gently down and threw his hands in the air. He had absolutely no explanation for this one.

As he turned to go back to where his friends were sitting, he felt something explode against his side, covering him in wetness. He yelled in surprise and turned to see all of his friends standing, with balloons in the arms.

“Dumbass!” Taako called as he threw another balloon at him, which nailed him in the face.

“You can’t hide anything from us!” Barry said.

Merle shook his head and laughed as he took off his glasses. “I hate all of you how-“ He was cut off by another balloon hitting him on the face. “How did you get my bucket?”

“Simple levitation spell, plant boy.” Lup responded with a laugh.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus teaches Taako some woodworking. (AGAIN, NOT SMUT)

“Hey, Magnus? If I cut a finger off, you’re paying for the hospital bill.” Taako said as he threw the knife down in anger.

Magnus picked his knife back up and let out a half sigh, half laugh. “I’ll make sure you don’t cut a finger off, Taako. Gimme your hand.” He put the knife back in his hand and grabbed onto the hand.

Taako raised an eyebrow at Magnus. “I hope you’re not flirting with me, I kinda have a boyfriend already.” He said with a wink.

“You wish.” Magnus rolled his eyes. “Stop trying to take control, let me help you.” He said with a small laugh.

“I’m not taking control, you’re just a wuss and won’t move my hand.” Taako scoffed, throwing a glance at Magnus as he let the tension go in his hand. “All yours.” He said.

Magnus smiled and began to guide Taakos hand as he carved. Taako was bad at this, there was no doubt about it. He even forgot what they were making, and only remembered when a beak became noticeable on the carving. A duck, right. They were making a duck. “I think I got it now.” He said.

“Alright.” Magnus let go of his hand and went back to his own duck.

The next few moments were silent, save for the sound of knives scraping on wood. Taako spoke up, “Hey, Magnus?”

Magnus, who was in deep concentration, responded with a pleasant hum.

“Thank you. This is a big part of your life, and you decided to share it with me. Sorry if I was… a dick? I don’t know.” He went back to whittling, shoving his impatience down as he made a mistake.

Taako didn’t hear anything from Magnus. Too busy carving, he thought. But, when he looked up again, he saw Magnus staring at him. “What?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Magnus’s face broke out in a smile. “I’m happy you’re happy.” He said, walking to him and enveloping him in a big hug.

Taako was slightly taken aback, and just gave Magnus a couple of pats. He wasn’t used to being hugged out of the blue. “Yeah… cool.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Let’s go ghost hunting,” he said, “it’ll be fun!” He said...

“This is such a bad idea.” Magnus said as he tightened his grip on his flashlight.

Taako scoffed slightly and just pulled his coat tighter about himself. “Yeah, it’s freezing out here.” He mumbled.

“No, I mean terrible idea as in we’re gonna get killed.” Magnus shot back, tossing a small glare at Taako.

He rolled his eyes in response. “Whatever. Ghosts aren’t re-“ he started, but was interrupted by a loud clang, making him jump and scream in fear.

Magnus burst out into laughter that rang through the abandoned building. “You- you were making fun of me on the way here!” He said through his laughter, pointing at Taako as he composed himself.

“Shut up!” He rolled his eyes with a smile as he saw something behind Magnus. “Wait. Magnus, shut up. Now.” He said, his eyes widening in slight fear.

Magnus stood still as a statue. “What?” He asked, the shadow getting closer.

“There... there’s... oh, Istus, help us.” He shook his head and covered his mouth.

Magnus was beginning to panic. “Taako, wha-“ he cut off with a scream he felt something furry rub on his leg. He fell down and shuffled away only to find that it was a black cat, no more than a year old.

It was Taakos turn to laugh. He held his stomach as he howled with laughter, doubling over and banging his fist on the nearby wall. “That was really good.” He said once he could talk.

Magnus began to laugh with him, scooping the cat up as he stood. The cat didn’t do anything to jump down; it just snuggled against Magnus and went to sleep. “Let’s get home. I have a feeling this guy needs somewhere to rest.”

Taako nodded with a smile. “Yeah. This place is freaky anyways.”


End file.
